Paul’s teaching on marriage & sex in 1 Cor 7 seems not so applicable to those Christians/churches who are walking well in the Lord & preparing His return. For those preparing for Jesus’ Coming, the decision of marriage or singlehood is all about being in God’s will & for God’s purpose. Unfortunately, because the Corinthians were so badly corrupted by the sexual immorality of their time, Paul had to ‘reduce’ his instruction, such as to make marriage a means to counteract sexual immorality (7:2, which is not the original purpose of marriage). …Read More
The truth is that if the root of sexual immorality is not dealt with, getting married itself will not solve the problem. This is not to say that Paul’s teaching is inadequate; but because of the Corinthians’ immaturity, Paul had to give them a list of ‘do’s and don’ts’ as a prevention against further corruption. Hence, the Church should not aspire to have teaching at such an ‘elementary’ level, but to come to maturity & holiness.
Still, such teaching is applicable in light of the high influence of sexual immorality in our society. We hear of adultery happening in even Christian families these days, and people wonder how this began. In 1 Cor 7, we understand 2 causes: one, the failure of couples to safeguard their sexual life (7:1-6); two, the failure of singles to confirm the gift of celibacy (7:7-9). In short, it is because of self-centred living: being single & married for your own purposes, not God’s.
The Corinthians adopted the false doctrine of asceticism (the outcome of dualism – separation of body & spirit) which advocated that marriage & sex is evil and should be avoided (7:1). This created confusion within the community, by portraying those married as having a ‘poorer’ spirituality than those unmarried. However, Paul, while being celibate and seeing its benefits (7:32-34), did not suggest that fulfilling sexual desire is a sin, but that it must only be performed within the context of marriage (7:2).
As such, the married couple has the “duty” (7:3) of meeting each other’s sexual needs and seeking to please the other partner. Sex is not about fulfilling one’s own pleasure, but yielding completely to another (7:4). Hence, it should not be neglected, lest doors be opened for satan’s temptation (7:5). E.g. when a wife’s sexual desires are not fulfilled, she may not express this directly (or even recognise it). However, without her knowing, sexual immorality is already creeping in, and can reveal through her attitudes, actions & attire, that will eventually lead her out of marriage.
Another reason of sexual immorality occurring is because singles did not confirm the “gift” of celibacy (7:7) from God. For the single & unmarried, Paul’s instruction is that they should remain in their status, as long as they can keep their sexual desire in check. The whole matter is not marital status, but holiness. Being married or single does not determine one’s spirituality. If one stays single, but cannot overcome sexual immorality (‘burn with passion’ 7:9), that singlehood is not pleasing to God. Whereas, if one in marriage could establish a godly family & maintain his/her holiness, that is more commendable. Thus, if one chooses to remain single, he/she has to confirm the gift of celibacy.
In the matter of a marital relationship with an unbeliever, Paul does not recommend divorce unless the unbeliever chooses (7:12-13). By this, Paul is not saying that a Christian can marry an unbeliever, because there was no example of such marriage in the Early Church (cf. 2 Cor 6:14). A probable reason why such a marriage may have existed was that both were unbelievers before one was converted (or both were Christians and one became an apostate?).
Why Paul gives this instruction is because, when one receives the gospel, it will surely create conflict in a marital relationship. As such, the unbeliever can only either be won over or end up leaving, because of the power of the gospel. If the unbeliever is neutral, it may mean the Christian is living a compromised lifestyle.
Paul does not preach that marriage is a means for evangelism. Still, Paul encourages the spouses of these unbelievers to remain because of the possibility of winning them. Through exerting an influence of holiness in their family, they may make their spouse & children ‘sanctified’ (7:14) – by this meaning that they believe in the Gospel (and not by means of the marital relationship itself).
Ultimately, Christians are to live by the Holy Spirit, who will sanctify us, so that the single believer will no more “burn with passion” for another, and the married couple will enjoy the God-given gift of sex through yielding to one another – in whatever status God allows them to be, living “in a right way, in undivided devotion to the Lord” (7:35).
